I lied to everyone for 6 years

Welcome to Questions from my team; where my team at Deakin gets to ask me questions and hold me accountable in answering them.

So here's Question #6:

“Change is the only constant.”

I used to hate it when people said that to me.

It felt like a cop out, especially when posed with big moments and big questions about life.

“Should I study this?”

“Do I have the time to commit to this?”

“Do I really want to do this forever?”

In reality, the vacuum of choice created by change is overwhelming and sometimes anxiety-inducing.

Feeling lost is very much a normal part of that human experience.

Change and feeling lost are intertwined.

When things change, we lose our bearings.

When you move homes for example, suddenly you have new street signs and new neighbours.

When you start a new job, you have a new desk and a new route to the office.

Similarly, when you move from stage to stage in life, you have new goals and new aspirations.

Case study - me

I’m going to be completely real with you for a moment:

I lied to everyone for 6 years.

Maybe longer.

All I wanted to do since I could remember was to be a soccer player and play for Manchester United.

Going through high school, that dream remained affixed in my heart.

But when people would ask what I wanted to do when I finished school - I would lie.

“Lawyer,” I’d answer, “I want to study law.”

NOT.

I just really enjoyed watching Suits. 

Fancy suits, cut throat dealings, sipping scotch out of crystal glasses - it looked like fun.

Then I finished school - having had to turn down an opportunity to play soccer in the US, but having wished all my career expos and future job nights away - no clearer on what the hell I was gonna do with my future.

Which brings me to how I managed it all; overwhelmed, lost and now heading into uni life - there were three things I learnt that have brought me to where I am today:

(i) Work on self awareness

I can’t stress this enough.

Not knowing what you might want to do in the future may be a tough task - but knowing the things you don’t want to do and definitively ruling them out is a good place to start.

Maths teacher; I’m terrible at math so that’s a no from me.

Fireman (which I did get in one of those job quizzes I had to do at school); I do not have the bravery to run into burning flames.

Astronaut; the infinite nature of space freaks me out.

It might seem a pointless exercise, but as you slowly begin to get more nuanced in your understanding of yourself - you’ll be able to better direct your energies moving forward.

The more self-aware I got about my gifts, I began to realise that storytelling and writing were my strongest talents.

Then I over-indexed on them; I did a thesis in Honours (hated it), took up photography (loved it) and started writing a blog in my spare time (really loved it).

I even dabbled with video - but that wasn’t great...

I went all out in exploring all possible manifestations of my skills, and couldn’t be happier with how it has all ended up.

(ii) Seek out opportunity.

This is a massive one.

There’s no use working on self-awareness if you’re not going to get out there and seek out chances to hone your skills and craft.

You have to take a shot.

If you’re into video; offer your skills to some up and coming musicians to do their music videos.

If you’re into acting; volunteer your time to get involved in some local productions.

Or in my case; I emailed every editor, publication or magazine I could find to try to get my work considered for publication.

Don’t be lazy about it.

The only opportunities you get, are the ones you’re proactive about.

(iii) Change is the only constant.

And we come full circle.

It might be comforting to know that the phrase “change is the only constant,” is actually backed by research.

A recent survey run by Pedestrian Jobs found that 75% of Millennials in the workforce, change jobs two years into starting a new job.

Similarly, the Australian College of Applied Psychology has found that the average Australian will have 5-7 career changes in their lifetime.

So this pressure to get it right the first time,

Or being overwhelmed by experience in a variety of fields,

Or simply being lost by the amount of choice presented to you - is easily alleviated.

Especially when you accept the fact that change is constant and use that to your advantage.